Renewed Hope: Is it worth it?

As I sit here, I've become aware that my previous guesses about the individual (company?) that I sent an application for a writing job to was as swamped as I thought with another project and now is playing catch up with other ones.  So I have renewed hope that I will be getting a "call back," or whatever one might phrase it as, for this job.  Again, I want to remain vague about it because of several reasons:

1. It might be a NDA type deal where gabbling about details for the project are strictly taboo and would jeopardize the client's trust and or potential future jobs with said client.
2. I don't want to get unecessarily hyped up for really cool job that may not happen.  
3. If the job falls through/my secondary submission did not make the cut, I want to edit that submission and possibly use it in a future project if the client allows me to do so.  
4. I like to hedge my bets, so I've been trying to work ahead, at least in the research department, so that should I get selected for the job I will have a short turn around time for the "boss" of the project.  I'd rather be ready to go and firing on all pistons than trying to hit the ground running, but from behind....does that metaphor make sense?

So this leads me to a little life lesson that hopefully is chock full of condescension, pretension, elevation, and any other "-tions or sions" I may have missed.  Kidding aside, I want to make it clear that there's never a reason to give up hope on what can be done with a project.  Does the client cancel?  No biggie, just use what you've learned, and maybe even the work as well and turn it into a funny story or resume' enhancer.  Or maybe re-purpose it for later use.  As I slowly reclaim myself from the abyss that was my old retail job I am remembering the optimism I used to have over situations even when they seemed bad or turned out other than I had hoped.

I don't care if it sounds schmaltzy to say, but I will remain hopeful even when it seems the foolish and silly thing to do.  Heck, even if I don't get this particular job, that doesn't mean I can't try again later to try and get a job with this guy, and it doesn't mean that I've lost the chance to work on anything ever again and for all time.  I think while I was working that crummy job in the past, it tended to blindside me with such horrible things and poor treatment from management on a daily basis that I saw every failure as total closure of possible routes and futures.  It was a terrible thing to happen because in addition to the pervasive awfulness of the job, I tended to think one failure was all it took to either be at square one, or think that I should never try certain things ever again.

Different outlook now?  Yes and no.   As I said, I used to have a more upbeat, "keep-on-a-tryin'" attitude prior to the retail job going full evil mode.  I hope that if you read this and are in an awful job, have people in your life that scoff at being hopeful, or feel like every one else is living it up while your stuck in the doldrums--please try to get away from those bad influences and start anew.  I know it doesn't seem possible if you feel stuck in an awful job, but trust some one who knows from experience.  Such places can keep you from realizing your full potential.  If you're scared of what might happen if you leave, try even harder to get away from there.

It's easier to deal with fear of the unknown that it is to deal with a lifetime of regret.

Leave Your Favorite Books Alone

If you are holding your favorite book in your hands and are just trying to relax by reading something: compartmentalize that part of yourself that thinks you could have written it better.  Critiques are off the table, no trying to analyze and pick it apart.  Just don't do it!

Sure we are told over and over again that if you want to be a better writer that you should read as often as possible, and I believe it is true as well.  However, I don't think enough is said about the relaxation part.  Sure, reading helps us to learn to be better at the writing craft, but lets not get so caught up in trying to extrapolate lessons from the story that we forget to just sit back and enjoy the ride.  Some books I will jump back and forth between just reading and picking apart.  Some I read just to pick apart and others I read over and over again just to enjoy.

I will NEVER open my favorite books to do anything other than read to enjoy it.  If you can't turn of the criticism or are under the assumption that you need to be able to pick apart your favorite book in order to be a better writer; I could not disagree more.

There are some places we go in the real world to escape from the daily grind.  Places where we can enjoy the sublime beauty of nature, places where we can take a deep breath and refresh ourselves.  If we are true about being writers, wouldn't we want that one well where we can be refreshed?  That one book that we refuse to sully?  I wouldn't go to my favorite hiking spot and start pointing out issues like the view was not as good as it could be, or if it was overgrown in spots, or if too many people seemed to be there these days.  I would have ruined it for myself and would forever be hearing that critical voice, forever looking for the flaws.  I would be trying to fool myself into thinking that somehow I was going to grow by being able to take a "critical and educated eye" to something beloved to me.

I guess that just might be me though.  I admit there are books that I really like that I am willing to think in a critical way.  But there are other stories that are dear to me that I would never think of trying to pick them apart.  Not that there might not be flaws in them.  I just want them preserved in my mind the way they were the first time that I read them.  I want to be able to have the experience of approaching them always like an old friend that I would warmly welcome.  I would never approach my wife or a life long friend with a desire to some how "better myself through criticism of that which  I love," so why would I do it with my favorite book.

Not saying that we should make idols out of certain books either.  If we can preserve our enjoyment of a book though.  If we can have just one spot--one story rather--that we can breath in, I think that is a thousand times better than any perceived benefit from being critical.

That's just me though.