It's difficult to just up and try to write roughly several hundred words about a vast variety of topics. Pretty succinct and simple way of putting it, isn't it? But the truth is searching out jobs on craigslist and through various freelance writing sites carries a large weight of ever daunting difficult. So many thoughts and ideas float through my mind as I search, write, and hope for the best possible outcome when submitting job proposals and writing samples.
"Do I know this subject well enough to write several hundred words about it?"
"Is this worth my time, or should I be looking elsewhere?"
"Are they seriously only going to pay $500 for some one to write a 50k original story to which they don't maintain the rights? And am I crazy for thinking that this sounds stupid?"
"Am I selling my creative genius for a pittance?"
Okay, I know that the last one might sound a bit egotistical, but the truth of the matter is, what if I land upon a really clever, original idea for a book series for children or some smart idea for a series of books for adults, but practically give it away for a few hundred bucks? I'm not talking about accidentally selling off something near Narnia or Lord of the Rings level, but you never know, now do you? Now, again, this isn't some sort of ego thing, just...well, I would hate to accidentally sell the security of my families future just so I'd have a little extra cash that month to help pay the bills. Now don't get me wrong, paying bills is an important thing to do. Not missing student loan payments and getting those credit cards paid off is a high priority in our household. However, I'd rather have to subsist on mac and cheese and spaghetti than run the potential risk of selling what I know to be a great idea. I know, I know. Maybe I'm just over-estimating my own potential and abilities. But who wants to sell themselves too short on their hopes and dreams? However, I know that my hopes, dreams, and even teh side projects are going to keep only being nothing but vapor unless I get a bit more focus, and that's where today's post comes in.
I guess I need to be a little more "type A" in my life. Now, that fills me with a bit of dread and concern because I don't want to because I'm lazy and would rather scarf chips and watch movies in my free time. Okay, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, but the truth is that I have come to realize I need to be eating into what I see now as my "free time" if I really want to make any forward movement in my hopes for the future. I need to be trying to be a bit more action oriented when it comes to getting the ball rolling on my writing projects or else I WILL end up bungling a great idea and selling it for a song--or a few bucks. A part of me doesn't want to have to give up time that I would rather be relaxing because I have known so little relaxation in the past decade it seems. Between my own major health issues (which are thankfully now resolved) to a horrible, life-sucking grocery-store job--I've come to covet my spare time. Made an "idol" as it were out of it. I don't want to disappoint my family or God by just letting my talents go to waste. Again, sounds all vain, but I feel like it is true.
Funny enough, it is helpful that I am trying to blog more often, because it gets me at the keyboard trying to "stretch" the writing muscles beyond the usual work that I have been doing. Not that I have been idle, just it has been too easy of late to kick back and movie watch rather than get anything I really want to get done, done. Speaking of which, I feel like this is about a good place to wrap up this particular journal. My little girl may wake up from her nap soon, and I want to get a bit further in the Junk Journals that I am writing, superficially on de-junking end of things. Any-who, I'll catch ya later!
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