Doing Five Things at Once, None of Them is getting Sleep

So, I worked a bit more on blog entries for Bloggmutt, searched out jobs on Odesk (nothing hilarious to report sorry to say), watched the little one and read stories to her, did some basic cleaning, and made meals for the family.  It was a full day, and looks like it will have to keep going strong in order to make me feel like I've gotten somewhere.  Part of me would really like to call it quits for the night and just play some Nintendo, but if I do that then the articles won't get written.  I've tried talking to them about it, begged the writing to be more self-sufficient and the like, but they just don't seem to want to get done on their own.  Despite the busy levels I'm experiencing, I keep thinking I need to get more sleep at night in order to be productive.  I am getting tired and unable to function much past midnight anymore, which for an insomniac means a whole lot of brainless Star Trek Deep Space 9 Watching and whole lot of not getting work done.  Sometimes I indulge in a bit of gaming, but for the most part it feels like I am not really up to working as late as I use to while I was in college.  But the thing is, it hasn't as much to do with physical tiredness as much as it has to do with needing an extended break.

Allow me to clarify what I mean by needing a break.  I don't just mean that I'm using late night as my break time during the day, or night rather.  I guess what I mean is that I feel like I need an extended break from how my life had been for the past several years.  Just a few years ago I was working 30-40 hours at a retail job that was pretty insidious in its treatment of me, going to college full time, slowly dying of liver disease, and trying to work on my own writing from time to time. When I finally was transplanted a few years ago, I still had the soul-stealing job and abysmal hours.  The few upshots were that I had a second chance at life and I had a secondary job doing creative write ups for a tee shirt company called CaptainKYSO.  Great working for them, I hope they make a comeback soon.  However, I only could squeeze in a little time with my wife from time to time, was still trying to find ways to squeeze in working on my own writing projects, and was generally missing out on church activities thanks to the evil job.  Now though, I get to work from home doing my writing and trying to find writing jobs, and I get to spend more time with my wife then I did when we were first married, I get to be a dad to an adorable little girl...and the list goes on.  So things are definitely looking up, more than they have in a long time.  I still am busy, not quite as much as before, but busy in a better way.

True, I need to work harder to help make ends meet, but it is much more satisfying working jobs here and there doing what I love then getting steady work doing stuff I hate.  I can fill up my day in ways that are satisfying and when I end up being up late and not getting sleep, it is on my terms and not out of necessity.  I could go back to having a hectic schedule if I wanted to impose that on myself.  For right now though, juggling five things on a daily basis feels like taking a break.  You've heard the old saying that sleep is over-rated?  Well, in my case it feels true.  But not because I am seeing my life bled away by a horrible job, bad health, and lack of joyful things to take part in.  This period right now, busy as it is, feels like a period of blessing and I don't want to take it for granted by sleeping it away.  Yeah, I might be groggy through some portions, but it's a welcome weariness.  If that makes sense.

Anywho, I promised my wife I we'd watch "The Wind Rises" tonight, so I think that this may be the last bit of writing for the evening.  

Finding Focus While Writing

It's difficult to just up and try to write roughly several hundred words about a vast variety of topics.  Pretty succinct and simple way of putting it, isn't it?  But the truth is searching out jobs on craigslist and through various freelance writing sites carries a large weight of ever daunting difficult.  So many thoughts and ideas float through my mind as I search, write, and hope for the best possible outcome when submitting job proposals and writing samples.

"Do I know this subject well enough to write several hundred words about it?"
"Is this worth my time, or should I be looking elsewhere?"
"Are they seriously only going to pay $500 for some one to write a 50k original story to which they don't maintain the rights?  And am I crazy for thinking that this sounds stupid?"
"Am I selling my creative genius for a pittance?"

Okay, I know that the last one might sound a bit egotistical, but the truth of the matter is, what if I land upon a really clever, original idea for a book series for children or some smart idea for a series of books for adults, but practically give it away for a few hundred bucks?  I'm not talking about accidentally selling off something near Narnia or Lord of the Rings level, but you never know, now do you?  Now, again, this isn't some sort of ego thing, just...well, I would hate to accidentally sell the security of my families future just so I'd have a little extra cash that month to help pay the bills.  Now don't get me wrong, paying bills is an important thing to do.  Not missing student loan payments and getting those credit cards paid off is a high priority in our household.  However, I'd rather have to subsist on mac and cheese and spaghetti than run the potential risk of selling what I know to be a great idea.  I know, I know.  Maybe I'm just over-estimating my own potential and abilities.  But who wants to sell themselves too short on their hopes and dreams?  However, I know that my hopes, dreams, and even teh side projects are going to keep only being nothing but vapor unless I get a bit more focus, and that's where today's post comes in.

I guess I need to be a little more "type A" in my life.  Now, that fills me with a bit of dread and concern because I don't want to because I'm lazy and would rather scarf chips and watch movies in my free time. Okay, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, but the truth is that I have come to realize I need to be eating into what I see now as my "free time" if I really want to make any forward movement in my hopes for the future.  I need to be trying to be a bit more action oriented when it comes to getting the ball rolling on my writing projects or else I WILL end up bungling a great idea and selling it for a song--or a few bucks.  A part of me doesn't want to have to give up time that I would rather be relaxing because I have known so little relaxation in the past decade it seems.  Between my own major health issues (which are thankfully now resolved) to a horrible, life-sucking grocery-store job--I've come to covet my spare time.  Made an "idol" as it were out of it.  I don't want to disappoint my family or God by just letting my talents go to waste.  Again, sounds all vain, but I feel like it is true.

Funny enough, it is helpful that I am trying to blog more often, because it gets me at the keyboard trying to "stretch" the writing muscles beyond the usual work that I have been doing.  Not that I have been idle, just it has been too easy of late to kick back and movie watch rather than get anything I really want to get done, done.  Speaking of which,  I feel like this is about a good place to wrap up this particular journal.  My little girl may wake up from her nap soon, and I want to get a bit further in the Junk Journals that I am writing, superficially on de-junking end of things.  Any-who, I'll catch ya later!

Little Steps Closer, Long Ways to Go

Well,  I am a few steps closer to getting that blog on games started.  My wife did a much needed wipe and reset on my computer.  It was getting so slow, so buggy, so unusable that I'm sure it was only a few steps above using a typewriter than scanning the pages into a computer.  Which makes me sad really because it means that this computer is getting old.  I don't really feel like upgrading it any time soon since it is functional.  Not to mention, I have a fondness for this laptop as it is my first computer of this kind.  Oh sure, I've done writing on my home PC, but this is my my first laptop.  With it came a certain sort of freedom that made me feel like I did the first time I went driving on my own after I got my license.  Unlike having a license I never really needed to get away to go do something, in this case writing, but by being able to head out to a local eatery to eat and write is something I've wanted to be able to do for years.  And truthfully, the first time I got to do it was every bit as awesome as I'd hoped it would be.

Of Junk Journaling and Musing Thoughts

So, to make a long story short, it's late and I'm tired.  But I think I need to get some writing done. If in no other format than this one at least.  Not that I'm putting down this particular blog of mine, just that I've been working on freelance writing applications and blog article submissions this evening, so I need to some time to write, some time to stretch, so to speak.

I know that I don't plan on doing much writing right now.  I already did a bit earlier today.  I had some thoughts coalescing about some stuff a friend and I have been talking about.  I know, I know.  Pretty vague jabber for a writer, but I am a bit tired and don't know how to say what I was going to gabble about.  Sufficed to say I don't want to screw up the way I write what I am writing.

Anywho, it got late on me and I am suddenly too tired to continue this particular blog. Night all!

Planning a New Blog

Greetings to you, whomever you are!

I am currently working on a new blog centered around original Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Wii U Games.  I hope to acquire some other old school systems so that I can blog on those as well, but we shall see.  For now, I need to finish up my articles that I have been ready to drop in the cue for that blog, but just haven't spent time to get them ready.

So much to say since the last time I blogged.  Uh...let's see.  I've moved to a bigger, better apartment.  The wife and I have an awesome, adorable little girl, and I get to work freelance writing jobs.  So all in all life is good.  It is definitely hectic/more busy than before, but much better than working retail job. Not to mention actually pursuing your career that you spent a good chunk of your college life on is a good thing too.

Anywho, here's to 2015, may it be the best year ever.  I know it sounds cheesy, but dang it, I think it will be!